I'm Back!!!?
Ok, I had no clue as to where the hell we were going. I just knew it was Spain. I was only home for two days thanks to American Airlines cancelling flights:::: I flew from Japan to home with some trouble. My first flight out of Tokyo==>plane malfunction. 2 hour delay. I finally land in Chicago. Since my Tokyo flight was delayed, I get to Chicago about an hour before my conncecting flight leaves. But I have to go through customs and baggage claim because I’m coming from another country. So I get through and I ask the ticket lady if I can still catch the flight. She said they automatically, as in took the liberty of rebooked me on another flight, eventhough my flight hasn’t taken off and is actually delayed an hour. So im like whatever, atleast I can eat something. 1:30 comes around and that flight is delayed===> two hours later…the flight is now cancelled. So I have to rebook. But to a flight into dc and I actually flew out of Dulles where my homegirl left my car. Drama. So I get my new ticket…5:05 boarding time. Cool. I get to the gate and its packed. So I sit across the terminal at an empty set of chairs. I sit there working on someone’s website (www.djlilmic.com <=plug). So around 5:10 I walk across. The flight is delayed again. They say ten minutes. I go and sit back down. Ten minutes I come back. No one is at the counter. I’m like damn another cancellation because this is exactly how the last one went down. So I pause trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I go back and start trying to read the screens. I don’t see my flight. SO I finally give up and go to a random AA counter. MY FLIGHT IS GONE. She says they changed the gate, and it left 5 minutes ago. She says, “didn’t you hear it on the intercom?”. And liike god had something to do with it, the intercom comes on…….I then look at her and say…”Did you understand three of the words that just came out of that m#@$@!#in speaker.?” She looks at me like I have lost my mind. I clearly have. She says just go to the phones and rebook. I laugh, but proceed to the phone. I get a new flight. They tell me to go to any counter and pickup the paper tickets. The flight isnt until 830, but I get to go to dulles, where my car is. I get to the counter. There is no data for my ticket. Whoever was on the phone didn’t book me right. SO I go back to the phone. Now the dulles flight is full. I get on the flight to DC= è9:45 departure. Now I have to figure out how I’m going to get to dulles. I cant ask my friend because she got her roomate to drive my manual transmission car to dulles the night before. So I call my brother. The amount of times I have driven his wife to the airport should warrant this request. He agrees and Im straight…WRONG. 930 rolls around, my flight is delayed……I finally leave around 11pm and get to DC at 1 am. My brother scoops me and we dip to dulles…30minute drive. I still have to drive back home. And I left my bass at my friends house because I had a gig the night before I left…So I start callin her and she doesn’t pick up. Its like 230 I think. I need my bass. I need my goddamn bass. I called her earlier and told her that I would be coming late to get my stuff. But she wont wake up. Im thinkin maybe she is “busy”. As in getting busy. Lol. But I need my bass. I say the hell with it and drive to her crib anyways. The last time I call was magic cuz she answered the phone as soon as I get to her building. She lets me in and immediately starts yelling at me about how I can’t call people with “real” jobs (I don’t have one) at 3 in the morning just to get my stupid ass bass. People have lives she says. She calls me an asshole or three. I say I just need my stuff. The yelling continues. And I trun my ears off and ignore it and grabmy bass and amp that I left there. I then stop and semi snap. I say I have been stuck in a GODDAMN airport for 12 GODDAMN hours. I don’t wanna be here, but this is my circumstance. She says FUCK YOU, KRIS. Im like done. Apparently we aren’t friends anymore……. I dip. Get a red bull and get home around 4am and can’t sleep……so I wanted to be a musician.
JULY17th Almunecar, Spain
So here I am 2 days later, still sleepy as all hell. This place….Almunecar.I don’t know where the hell…..its hot. HOT. We have got to be at the bottom of Spain. I can feel Africa..THE MOTHERLAND..lol. There are like NO black people. They look at us like….well you know….$$$$$This is a beach town, like a resort. We get to the hotel and its on the beach. I quickly notice…besides the topless women…the amount of fat people. Europe has fat people, but not like the US. But I was in some kind of different space. It looked like the US. Just men with guts for daaaaaaaaaaays. It was crazy. Ronald and I hit this mexican restaurant. BAD idea. I tried to tell him. I don’t really like mexican food, well taco bell, but of course that aint mexican. BUT MEXICAN FOOD IN SPAIN, cmon Ronald use your head. The food was awful. They put a lemon in my corona..I HATE THAT…IT’S A LIME. While we eat we notice a black guy. I mean black. When I see people that color its humbling. Like im just fakin. Like this was a BLACK MAN. PURE. The real deal. He was selling all kinds of things. We wave him over to our table. He obviously knows we are americans, he seems to be disgusted by us. I don’t blame him. We ask him if he has any movies. Ronald and I go half on a Fantastic Four bootleg. He says it is in English but we found out he got us. He was from Senegal and said he is headed to London. I wanted to go to Africa. Ronald makes a comment:::don’t you wish you were white for like ten minutes.::::hmmm interesting question. NO!!! Carlos says naw I like being the most hated. The underdog. I was feelin carlos. I mean the looks and the stereotypes can be ruff sometimes, but not that ruff. We then talk about Jack Johnson and how he was the most hated black man.lol. And how that was Miles Davis’ hero. Deep converstion ensued. I feel like this trip is gonna be heavy. But anyway.
Finished the meal and walked around the beach getting thousands of dirty looks from these fat rich spainards who don’t see black people too often. They probably thought we were selling something too. Anyways……..I stumble to the room and hit the sack. The bombings in London are still all over the news. Apparently there have been a rack of hate crimes against muslims in London after the bombings. Why are people so ignorant?!?!?! I’m frustrated by it all and put the pillow on my head and try to go to sleep.
JULY18th GiG in SPAIN
Wake up the next day. Breakfast. More dirty looks. The lady on the omelettes was killin tho. I pack my stomach with food (where does it go?). We then hit the beach. DAMN the water is cold. We got in a little early, cuz the waves almost killed me. But it felt refreshing. The women here were mostly older women. Who didn’t give a damn what kind of shape they were in.lol. A few nice lookin ones here and there.lol. Spainish women have ASSSSSSSS. I have been to Spain about 4 times. I wasn’t too surprised.
Me, Ronald, and Carlos bounce out the water and hit one of the restaurants. I order the mixed fish. These bastards!!! This was so good. They took every kind of fish that you could think of and fried it whole and put it on my plate. I devoured it (where does it go??) Im seeing double right now Im so full. I hit the bed hard..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
AHKDFWJISD><M#@)@(! I wake up, sound check in 10 minutes. Brush the teeth and dip. I get my fro flat on one side.lol. Sound check was cool. The bass felt good. I be swingin’!!!lol Kenny and I played a couple standards together just me and him, NO RONALD. AHHHHH finally, swingin wit kenny garrett. I mean swingin’. You know that kris funn bounce? OK I’m feelin myself a little too much.
From the sound check to dinner. ANOTHER MEAL??? I get two orders of the mussels appetizer thinkin it would be too little.WRONG. DAMN these bastards!!! It was soooooooo good. Battle the itis to my room. Its 15 minutes til the show. Shower and dip. Hit the stage. Killin. I be swingin’. I don’t know what happened but it was swingin tonite. We played outside in front of this castle thingy. It was dope. Place was full of people. They wouldn’t let us leave. We had to do like two encores and played forever. We were grooving on this hip hop groove forever. Like some 90’s shit. It was hot. They went crazy.
Signed autographs forever. Met a lot of interesting people. This one guy was telling me about how a lot of morrocans try to get over here on make shift rafts. A lot of them die, but some get caught by the coast guard and get over here. He says they are poor over there and can barely survive, but can come over here and make their yearly income in a week. That is craaaaaaaazy. He said that if you go to gibraltar, Tanger is only 14km across the water. That is where the coast guard patrols heavily. He said we could take a ferry over there and it would only take an hour. I wish I knew that earlier. I would have disapeared and never came back.lol. This other couple I met buys me some drinks. They were cool. The chick was from London, and the dude was from new york. I think he was into some shady stuff. When I asked if he ever goes back, he just said he can’t, and she got this look on her face. He said he hadnt been back since the 60’s. She said he hates london and she loves the states, so they ended up in Spain. We talked politics. They were super left wing extremists.lol. They talked of how fucked up the vietnam war was let alone this Iraq shit. They talked of how trying to end terrorism with the same elements that start it is impossible….DEEEP. She then starts asking me about how the climate was in the US. I said its fear. She said she wants to move to northern California. She felt that it was the last liberal stronghold in the US. I agreed. I been to Santa Cruz, and I never saw more white people with dashikis and weed smokin in my life. But she said she wanted to move farther north than that..
JULY19th Travel to Finland
Wake up……15 minutes til we leave for the next city. It’s am hour to the airport in Malaga. I sleep the whole way. Get to the airport, more dirty looks.lol. We fly out of Malaga.thank god. Into London Heathrow Airport to connect to Helsinki, Finland. Man this shit is crazy. Im goin to Finland??? What da hell.lol. From southern spain. I see why im so damn tired.
I sit at the gate watching BBC news. This guy, I think London’s prime minister is trying to say that the British support for the war in Iraq has nothing to do with the recent terrorism in Iraq…..stupid. Im so sick of this bs. Everything is sugar coated. I found out that somebody made a tape a couple months ago??? I must have missed this. This guy at the airport said one of the head honchos of the insurgency said that if the countries left Iraq then Al qaeda would have no more beef with any of the countries. I missed that. But ummmmm that would have been a good time to dip!! OK this is getting to political.
Its time to fly and we are surrounded by blonde haired people. The plane ride was fun. Trying to learn finnish. These words are long as hell. It looks like someone just sat on a typewriter, lol. We get news that it never gets totally dark. Like the sun doesn’t go completely down. OH this should be good for my sleeping habits. Dammit. We are due to land at 11:55pm and drive 3 hours to Pori, Finland, where the jazz festival is. This old guy tells us Pori is a big gay community. Oh boy.
We land in Helsinki. WOW. Boy were they surprised to see us.lol. But they werent dirty looks like in Almunecar. I heard this little girl as we walked by…”they came all the way from Africa!.” Wow. Its crazy how people don’t have a clue of the entire world when they live in places that lack diversity. I laughed then felt horrible at the reality of it, cuz her mom didn’t say anything, so she probably felt that too. That all black people are African. Anyways we are starving. Everything is closed and we have a three hour van ride with the sun half down. HELL.
Two hours into the ride we stop. FOOOOD!!! Its called Hesburger. Awww man. I was not eating this. The pictures of the burgers you had to see. Loaded with mayonaise I see why they called this “HE”’s burger.lol. McSkeet Supremes.. I got a bag of chips from the grocery store and chilled. We get back in the van and Im in the front with the driver. This guy was dozing off. I was on keep this fool awake duty. I caught him once about to make us into a news story. We finally get to Pori around 3:30am. People are still out in the streets the sun is coming up. Craaazy. The club in the hotel is craaaackin. Im tired as hizell. I hit my room and of course cant sleep. With the goddamn sun coming up. You would think they would have thicker curtains. DAMMIT. So im watchin this thing on tv. It’s a documentary on the moroccans. Isnt that some crazy shit. Everything that guy in Spain told me was right here in this special. It was depressing. The men try to cross and die leaving wives and children with no way of surviving, all because of immigration laws. Its disgusting how 14km of water can be the difference between prosperity and survival. It went off and I sat there in darkness wit a screwed up head. I then had a bout with memories of my mom. I have been getting those a lot lately. I havent really dealt with the whole situation of my mom passing. Like it hasn’t HIT me yet I know. I feel its gonna be soon. I toss and turn and finally fall asleep……
I have a story to tell::
I’ll start in the middle. I’m in a restaurant, owned by this Italian guy that I seem to know very well. For some reason tonite is a really busy nite. Something important is going on tonite and the restaurant is in chaos trying to prepare. I’m standing on the corner with a friend from elementary school. I have no idea how he got here. I hadn’t seen him since middle school. I remember getting news of his brother dying after we had parted ways. So he is apparently into some shady dealings because he is counting a wad of cash. For some reason I feel like some of it is due to me. He is in a hurried panic state. Trying to hide his actions on this busy street. I try to calm him and he finally finishes counting and hands me some money. He then tucks away his gun into his back pocket. We start to walk into the restaurant and we notice these two cops there asking the owner questions about a shooting. My friend and I proceed into the restaurant, and the owner tells me he is in need of a huge bag of peanuts, and he tells me to check next door at the store. I go next door into this store which seems to be a bulk store. Its run by this family. Not sure of where they are from, but they are obviously muslim by their garb. I ask the man for peanuts, but I forgot im in a foreign country. He speaks no english. So he and his family try to figure out what I’m asking for. Bringing me all kinds of things. Finally one of his sons brings out peanuts. I notice that they are not enough. I try to explain to him that they are not enough. It turns out his english is apparently pretty good, he just didn’t know what peanuts were. He tries to get me to taste them. I do and they are incredible. I mean so good that I start eating the shells. I tell him I need a big bag like right now, and I couldn’t wait for him to get more. I also tell him that I will buy the peanuts for myself. He then tells me of the closest store to get peanuts. He tells me but I have no clue as to the area. So he agrees to walk with me.
During the walk we begin casual conversation. This and that. I ask him where he is from, and he kind of wards off the question with jokes. I ask him several times. He seems darker than my complexion with straighter hair. I would guess somewhere in Northern Africa or Eastern Africa. He wouldn’t tell me and I think I got that point. The point was that it really doesn’t matter where he is from. That’s whats wrong with the world now. People are born in certain parts of the world, and they are stuck with a label for the rest of their lives. GENERALIZATIONS. There is too much concern with where we are from and not about where we are going and what we can be. Right now I bet every muslim in London is a terrorist because of this mentality. Anyways, back to the story. I began to feel overwhelmed by this man. Like he started glowing. And the glow was too intense for me to look at. Like I was humbled by who he was. It was strange. I can’t really explain it. I mean this man, obviously not the richest man in the world, and probably stuggling with his business due to the fact that he can’t provide enuff of his product to sell. He had his whole family working at the store, and no one was in there but me during the busiest time of day. Not to mention he is obviously a devout muslim in Spain, a country with some issues. I stopped walking and tried to look at him. I began to tell him that I admired him. He began to make jokes thinking I was messing around. I repeated it, and he still didn’t get it. He said is this some kind of American humor?? I explain:::: I spent less than 5 minutes in your store and I could sense the amount of respect your family had for you. You arent rich, you arent changing the world, but it isn’t about that. What life is truly about is having a family. And not demanding their respect, but clearly earning it. Its when this world became a place where everyone is seeking money, fame and fortune, is when everything went pear shaped. I told him that he gave me a sense of life just walking and talking with him. I want to be half the man he is I tell him. His face clearly changes mood and he begins to cry and smile and shakes my hand. He says something in a language, maybe arabic?, I don’t understand. Then he hugs me and I remember feeling the glow kind of burning my skin, and I couldn’t breathe. Like how you feel when you walk in a sauna. The air is so thick and consuming. That’s how his embrace felt and I could see nothing but light……………………………I met this man in my dream.
JULY20th Porii Jazz festival
Wake up around 5am in a puddle of sweat. Take a shower, put on some ‘trane and start doing some work on my computer. Trying to catch up on a couple of websites that I’m doing…
Sound check is at 12:45pm. It seems like the sun never goes down here. We get to soundcheck and its drama. Nothing is set up and there is no bass. Meanwhile the lady that is running the jazz festival is rushing us because the band that is opening for us is sound checking at 2pm. Ibrahim goes off on her. I mean bad. LOL. I start to wander off in the building….UH OH. I run into this huge life size step and fetch it statue. I wanted to crack it into pieces. It was sitting right in the hallway of the building. It was sick. Like no one could understand how offensive this thing was. Shit tore me up inside. It took me like five minutes to convince myself not to knock the shit over. I had to realize that these people probably never engage in meaningful conversation with a black person about his experiences……but who cares, this is bullshit.
I get back to sound check and all hell has broken loose. Apparently one of the sound guys snapped at kenny. LOL. Kenny doesn’t really get mad, he just walks out in situations like this. So before the sound gets straight, we are out. This show is gonna suck.lol. So we head on out to the ride. Get something to eat and its back to the hotel.
The show went crazy as usual. Fucked up sound….the regular, nothing special. We get done and head back to the hotel. Ronald asks me to roll wit him to this bar where this group of girls he met at sound check were kickin it. We walk in……………..and its like the record stops. LolTwo black men…in Finland. I swear there were skin heads in there. We walk to the girls’ table. My head is on super swivel. I take one look at these chix and I’m like….Dawg, this aint worth it. Ronald tells them to meet us outside. I could feel everyone’s eyes on my back. It was crazy. I wanted to fight, but you don’t fight when your outnumbered in a counrty like 8 million to 25.lol. It eventually cools down and we sit and kick it. We then get up and all of us roll to the jazz festival to chill. As we are walkin, everyone we pass is staring and stoppping.. People in restaurant windows…this one lady was eating and when I walked by with these two white girls her mouth wouldn’t close, and she had food hanging out of it. I saw people leaning over and whispering and pointing….AHH I love being the most hated.lol.
We finally get to the spot and we sit down and hear this band playing. These were the guys that rode with us here from helsinki. The bass palyer was Nat Reeves. He is Kenny’s other bass player. I think he is Kenny’s favorite bass player. He is on all of Kenny’s older albums. Whenever im not doing the gig he is doing it. This was the first time I saw him live. He was cool. I met him after their show, really cool guy. He told me some stuff about basses, it was dope. I get like three gin and tonics (they are really cheap here chill out). The group is now down to two chix me and ronlad…uh oh. The one that was designated to me was 19….NEGATIVE. IT was crazy, cuz she actually had been to baltimore b4. Can u believe that?lol She sid she went to a baseball game, and the latin palace. I died laffin(yall don’t know what the latin palace is). But anyway, I’m clearly the wingman here. So she wants to go to the club in our hotel. So we roll.
Get there and its crackin. There were actually four black people there!!lol. I got another gin and tonic and kicked it. Shook my ass a little…and then noticed the BlackJack table in the corner. I’ll holla. I got the tab at the bar on carlos’ drinks (he popped up later with Nat). He gave me 20 cash cuz the tab is on my credit card. So I run to the lobby and get the 20 us into 14 EURO (george bush sux). SO I hit the table. And we are off. Im losing. BAD. The dealer is this nice lady that speaks english. I am clearly the entertainment for the table. Its surrounded by fin dudes. Lol. They are so serious and quiet. Im having a ball singing and dancing as I loose my money. Maybe cuz im only placing 2 euro bets.lol. I get down to my last two euros. And my luck turns. I start winning. Like out of control. Michael Jackson’s Off the Wall comes on and im Moonwalking. CHAchiNG. Ohh they really hate me now.lol. BLACKJACK. Holla . 20..Holla….the macarena comes on..im out of control right now. So I go from2 euros to twenty.And the guy next to me steals my place on the table. I laff and just slide my money to his old place. He thinks he can steal my luck.. NEAGTIVE CHAChing. Holla at ya boy..im a hustla, im a im a hustla homey…ASK about ME CUZ!!!! So I get up to 28 and im whooped. I get up and give the fin homies pounds and roll to the bar to cash out. I cant find anyone. Ronald and carlos are gone. So im ready to dip. I get to the bar getting my cash out and settling my tab and this dude from the table steps on my toes. Im like yo, ur on my foot. I point down. He is drunk. Im yelling now. Get off my damn foot homey!!!! No haps. Whats wit me and these drunk bastards in the club. I roll his big ass up against the bar off my feet, he looks at me like im crazy/ lets fight. NAW homey. Not me. I aint that dumb. I give him the baltimore ice grill and dip out. I just notice that im sauced out my mind. I must have had six gin and tonics…wut da hell. I need to slow down. Stumble to the elevator and carlos pops off. Im like im done. He is like cmon dawg. Its like 3 am im finished…get it finnish? Lol . Anyways. Im off to the sizack. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
JULY21st Porii Jazz fest gig2
Two hours into my sleep...ringaling.... hello?...."ey cuz"...nigga im sleep..."oh for real? I was fittin to come kick it." ....for wut?... "I was just gonna come talk." ...naw nigga holla at me tommorow..."aight cuz" ...peace...*click up*. This fool wkes me up at likke 5am. I know what he wanted. The only time he says he wants to talk is when some shit with a chick goes pear shaped. So he probably had that chick in the room and something went bad.lol. I didnt feel like right then, i got my own issues.
So of course I couldnt go back to sleep. GODDAMMIT. So i took the time to catch up on some website work, including this site. I hadn't been posting stuff in real time because these hotels only have wi-fi in the lobby and not in each room. So I headed downstairs to get my computer on. I work like crazy and 7am rolls around and Carlos pops up in the lobby. I don't ask any questions.lol. but he has a different outfit on then when I last saw him.lol. He asks me if i was goin to breakfast and i told him i hadnt really slept yet. I pack up shop and head up stairs after him to get some sleep.
Ringaling....aling........ring aling....aling.... Im not answering it. Ringaling...alingling.....aling...ring.... NOPE. ten minutes later....... ringaLingaling... a ling....ring al ing.... zzzzzzzzzz. thirty minutes later..... ring aling a ling aling...SHIT......hello?... "ey cuz"....nigga im hurt... "for real? nigga its 4 o clock" ..nigga im hurt... "aww dawg, I was trying to get some eats" ....nigga hit me in a half.... "aight doc, peace" ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
.....ringaling...aling... ring...aling.... YO..."ey cuz you up?" ...im hurt man... "yo wake up you gonna waste the whole day" ...wut you tryin ta do.. "i don't know. Get some eats or something"...aight I'm bout to throw some clothes on..wuts your room number? .... "651" ...aigh I'll be there in ten cuz..."aight" ..peace........ zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
.......ringaling ...aling....ring...aling... hello? "yo cuz, where you at" ..yo my bad im hurt.. "nigga its been like a half hour.".... my bad im walkin out now..." aight cuz, 651" ..ok fool peace....... .zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
....ringaling..aling ring..aling................aaling.. Yo ..."WUTDAhELL?!?" ...awww yo, my bad, im hurt here i come cuz.. "damn cuz" ..chill out nigga peace....
So i dip down to Ronald's room and we hit the streets. The plan is to get some eats, but I explain to him that we are getting picked up to go to dinner at 6pm and it was 5. It would be dumb to waste your moey, when you got fee dinner coming. We wrestle with the idea and wait. Hit dinner, grub down and go to sound check..
This place was kinda small. Well compared to the huge auditorium we played in last nite. It was cool with me because the smaller the room the better the bass sounds. Sound check was cool and we were done deal. I race back to the room and squeez out a thirty minute nap then head back to the club for the gig. I don't know what is happening, but this shit was swingin. Even i was killin this time.lol. Kenny ended the show with Donna Lee at "cook em if you got em" tempo. I mean this shit was so fast you couldnt count it out loud, cuz it would take to long for your mouth to say the numbers. We ripped it tho. The audience went bananas clapping forever. They wanted an encore, but there was a band to go on after us. I felt sorry for the band. They had a "we gotta go on after that?" look on their faces. They were cool tho.
After we got off the stage this black guy stopped me to tell me how good we sounded. He told me how people dont play like that anymore. He said nobody "fires it up like that anymore."lol. He told me to have a seat and rap with him. I grabbed a beer and did. Surprisingly, the fact that he was black didnt hit me.lol. I dunno why. He has on a tour badge swinging form his neck like i did. I peered in trying to see his name. At that moment he reaches over and shakes my hand and asks me my name. I read his badge...... Ted Curson.. HOLY SHIT!!!! this is fuyckin Ted Curson.... wut in da hell .. wait i need to explain:: ok, not too many people know of Ted Curson. He was and is a bad muhfucka, but only probably jazz heads and hardcore musicians would know his name. Trumpet player. I know his shit up and down because he is on a rack of Charles Mingus' recordings. And Mingus...wait lemme make it easy.... I have one picture on my room's wall back at the crib and its one of Charles Mingus. Anyways.. SO imthinkin ..who gives a fuck what my name is.. There is so much shit I want to ask him. .... ok...... Kris Funn. Man you sound good man bouncing all over that bass, firing it up. Im thinkin yea right thia negro played with Mingus. I tell him::: man you have been in my cd player thousands of times. He is like man that aint shit. U doin it now. I told him of all the Mingus albums I had with him on it. I know he knew i wanted to ask him about mingus. I mean he knew i played bass. He probably didnt know mingus was hanging on my wall tho. I think he probably gets that question too much... fuck it.. "So what was mingus like?"" he bursts out in loud laughter... He grabs my shoulder and smiles... "muthafucka you dont have enuff time for me to tell you about Mingus"..i love how all the older cats cuss so much lol. I laff with him. He says man I live over here six months and go to paris for three then i go home to jersey. Here is my card. Call me up man and we can rap. WUT DA HELL!?!?!?! Rap>?? Ted Curson handing me his card . I didnt know he still existed, and this cat is giving me his card to call and talk about the music... THIS SHIT IS CRAAZY!!!!!. He gets back on how much he enjoyed our show and was mad that he didnt hear more of it. He said nobody is playing like that anymore. It reminded him of some charlie parker sets. I wanted to say we don't play like that either you just came in on the right song.lol.
So after ahile of chit chat...."So you want to know about Mingus? ALright I tell you." :) . He starts with this smile like he was gonna burst into laffter with every word::***imagine flashback music and the screen wavering.lol****
**** See Mingus was a bad muthafucka. There were two cats running the bass back then. Oscar Pettiford and Charles Mingus. Oscar Pettiford was Native American, he would just play the bass naturally. Wutever he played came naturally to him. NOw Mingus would practice the shit vigorously. Mingus was mad at all the cats who would try to sound like charlie parker or whoever. He said before you can sound like someone you got to learn how to play all their shit backwards(lol). Mingus actually would learn something backwards (sick). He said every nite was something else with Mingus. I had to keep one eye on that muthafucka every gig. He would fuck with everybody. He really wouldnt fuck with me cuz he knew I was a golden glove boxer back then. lol. But the shit he would do on the bandstand. This wouldnt be on the street or in the dressing room. on the bandstand. Off the gig Mingus was the coolest cat. On the stage it was psychological warfare.
When I first joined the band, Mingus calls me to ride with him somewhere. So he pulls up to my house with this long red limousine. I look at it like what the hell is going on. I get in and Jimmy Knepper is in there.(trombone player). I ask him he says I don't know what is going on. Mingus had just recieved a review of one of his albums in Downbeat Magazine. (thats like the Vibe magazine for jazz back then.fuck 5 mics..for all the jazz musically challenged people). So they ride in this red limousine down to the Downbeat building. Mingus asks the secretary where the editor is that wrote the review. She says he is busy and he cant go back there. Mingus busts in the door anyway . AND KNOCKS THIS GUY THE FUCK OUT!!!. After that he never got less than five stars again.
One night, Mingus hired this new japanese female piano player into the band. It was at a club in New york. Now he had never heard her play b4. Mingus had a habit of taking pepole's word of mouth then finding out for himself. (i cant remember her name) So the first tune. The piano solo comes around. The lady plays Bud Powell's solo (another jazz pianist who used to play with Mingus). Plays almost better than Bud played it. Mingus turns to her after the song and says wow you played that better than Bud played. Then his face screwed up and goes... "Dont you ever do that shit again" . This is all on the bandstand. So the next nite, same club. Gets around to the piano solo. She does the same thing. plays Some Bud powell shit. I watch Mingus. He slams the key cover of the piano down ..ON HER HANDS...BAM... (oh shit!!!). Crack!!1 She runs off the stage in pain!!!
I couldnt believe i was sittting here. I felt like my brain was a tape recorder. I was taking all this stuff in. It was amazing. He went on with story after story. He seemed like he enjoyed telling these stories. I sat there taking that stuff in like i needed it to breath. I couldn't believe this. Ronald sits down in the middle. Then I realize how lucky i am. As Ted...uhh Mr. Curson goes through each story naming people by their first name only. And Ronald has to stop each story and ask him who he was talking about and what they played. I knew everyone he was talking bout. I flashed back to when i was young and my dad would sit me and my brother down and play jazz records all day. And he would tell us stories about all the musicians and the albums and everything. Its crazy cuz some of the stories he told about mingus were the same ones that Ted was telling me right there. How the hell did my dad know all this shit!!! I dont know if my pops is reading this. He knows I have a website, but I wont tell him the name..and I told my brother not to tell him either, but if he some how squeezed it out of my brother's mouth, then THANKS DAD, for puttin this music in my life. I hope to do the same with my kids, but I will be telling them stories of Tribe Called Quest, Run DMC, east coast west coast beef, and how pac and biggie went out..lol....so back to the stories::
****flashback music*****lol, im stupid
Mingus would always fuck wit everybody's mind. Like with me he wouldnt fuck with me directly cuz he knew i was a boxer. So he would have everybody in a circle and be cussing everybody out but skip over me. That shit started to fuck with me alittle. So one night on the bandstand Mingus started fuckin with me. So i lost it and lunged at him. Mingus grabbed me with one hand and held me up in the air like a cartoon. Im hanging swinging at him trying to connect with a hook or a jab....nothing. He grabs the mic and says ladies and gentleman this is my new trumpet player, Ted Curson. See Mingus would be so doped up sometimes he was strong as an ox. We used to play at this club in New York and he would always tell the owner to get a new piano cuz it always was out of tune. So one nite the owner gets the piano tuned, and it made Mingus mad. He said a new piano not tune the old one. So in the middle of the gig Mingus reaches in the steinway and pulls out the strings with his bare hands(GODDDDAMMMMN!!)**********flash forward music*****
Im sitting there dying laffing. This was real shit. I didnt want him to stop. I felt like a little kid. The stories kept coming. Each one funnier and crazier. The funniest one had to be the one about elvin jones :: ***flash back music****
One time Elvin Jones came to play with us. (elvin jones = bad muhfucka . jazz drums personified). Elvin is wasted too (drunk maybe?)So Mingus calls this tune, "better git it in your soul" (thats how you spell it....Ted starts humming it and i join in with him. He give me one of those.. young boy you knwo your shit looks.lol). Elvin Jones comes in, ya know, like Elvin Jones with that 6/8 shit. Mingus stops the band and turns to Elvin. "What the hell are you playing.? You black aint you muthafucka?" (yea Elvin was black as hell.) So Elvin pulls out a gun and puts it on the snare drum. I dont think Mingus sees it. Im watching these muthafuckas. So he starts the tune. And Elvin is so wasted he goes to hit the symbol and misses. Then comes in with this crazy shit. Mingus stops the band again. "what the hell are you..." Elvin picks up the gun and puts it on Mingus's forehead. Mingus says ok play whatever you want. The whole night Elvin is just playing crazy shit and Mingus aint say a word. **************** flash forward*****
CRAzy. See thats real. Thats real beef. Fuck that biggie and pac shit.lol. That was over some bullshit. East coast west bs. This was over the music. Thats BEEF. Fuck where you from. lol. I wonder if Ronald will ever put a gun to my forehead when I'm yellin at him for flipping the beat on a swing tune.lol. I can't believe Mingus and Elvin played together. That shit had to be craaazy. Two of the sickest muhfucaks on their instrument. I cant even imagine. Damn I was born in the wrong time. Yall dont understand...well some of yall do but damn. I just sat there takin this mess in. He talked of all the shit mingus would do to people. He said once he knocked Jackie Maclean's teeth out. DDAAAAAAMN. See Mingus' albums sound so much different than any other albums from that time. Listen to that album, Blues and Roots. That shit is so raw and killin'. The track" Moanin'". I think its the third song. That Jackie Maclean solo.......boppin'. I remember listening to that track over and over and over. I can still sing it verbatim without the record playing. Shit is so simple harmonically, but its boppin so hard. I remember i learned how to play bebop lines from that solo. I learned that shit on bass. (not backwards tho,lol). Its so killin!! Its like you can hear it...like J-mac knew if he fucked the solo up he would get his teeth knocked out. Thats BEEF. fuck pac and biggie.!!!lol.
So the next band starts playing and story time ends. The band sounded cool. It was the Eric Alexander Quartet. The first tune was blazin. The drummer was killin on it. I think it wsa Joe Farnsworth. Ronald turns to Ted and asks him how it sounds to him. He askes him if it wsa swinging. Ted goes..it sounds good, but you wont know if he really swinging until you put it here. He then starts snapping his finger to a slow tempo. Ronald looks at me. And I yell... YOU sEE YOU MUTHAFUCKA!!! (i was on beer number 5) THATS tHE sAME THING I TELL YOUR STUPID ASS!!!. IT AINT tHAT FAST SHIT YOu PLAYIN'. Ted laffs at me and shakes my shoulder. Ronald says yea ima shed.lol.
So its gettin late. I wanted to hang aroung for the jam session, cuz I wanted to play with this cat so bad. But we had to leave at 3am and it was like midnite. So me and Ronald grab some hotdogs and dip out to the hotel. At the hotel we run into Winard Harper (bad ass drummer) and Mark Whitfield(likewise on guitar) we sit and kick it wit them for a second. Cool peeps. I met Winard b4 but I never met Mark Whitfield. We talked for a minute about life on the road. We are headed to Israel and London next. Probably the most dangerous countries in the world right now, outside of IRAQ. They told us to be careful. They gonna be all over our bags in security. Those two were headed to japan. They were telling road stories about japan.. It was funny. I can't believe i am a certified muhfucka now. Like these cats. I mean i got cds with both of them on them. Now Im in the major leagues..playing the same festivals, same clubs that they are. Its crazy how all this shit comes together. If i knew in high school i would be sitting in Finalnd at the Porii Jazz festival kickin it wit Ted curson I would have smacked you in your face....twice. Well I can't wait to get on the plane home. We have to drive from Porii to Helsinki (three hours). Then fly to london(2 and a half) 5 hour lay over in London.fly from London to Newark (7 hours). Then I have to Amtrak home to bmore (2.5hours)...so i wanted to be a musician... THANKS DAD!!lol
JULY???i dunno. maybe 22nd?
::THE BONUS TRACK::
Ok im in London Heathrow stuck here for 5 hours. Im bored. Its freezing. I had to buy a 17pound(about 30 us) long sleeve shirt. Ronald and Carlos are sitting here making beats on their laptops. They are funny. How they argue over whose beats are hotter. It always ends with Carlos saying...nigga how many of your tracks have ever been played on the radio.lol. Anyways, Im sitting here watching BBC news. They shot some guy on the London subway today. This was a day after 4 bombs failed to detonate on the train and busses. Apparently this man looked suspicious. They said the police were staking out his house and followed him to the subway or should I say the Tube. The police told him to stop and he ran on to the train. They followed and knocked him over and shot him 5 times point blank..WHOA. I fear the worst. I feel in my heart like, this guy was innocent. Im almost frightened to find out the rest of the story tommorow. The world is a sick place!!! I will not be running in London.
So i was thinking about my crazy dream. Im trying to put this together. I figure some crazy connections.....ok first why the hell is Dennis Whitehead from middle school there? Here is what im thinkin. ....... I got news of his brother being shot later in high school. Now My brother is alive of course, but the Italian Restaurant owner asked me to get peanuts..... MY BROTHER IS ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS....scary ..ok im not done... Now Dennis was a jehovah witness.... the owner of the store was Muslim.... I guess im a christian.... hmmm i dunno. kinda stretch. trying to find out how religion has to do with it, but I feel like everyone i was interacting with was of a different religion. Its probably safe to assume the Italian guy wasnt muslim or jehovah's witness. hmmmm. So im stuck:: three guys of different religions all interacting with me.....hmmm Well i got money from dennis....and peanuts from the muslim guy..... maybe friendship from the Italian guy....NOw we still have the gun and why was dude glowing.... Maybe...wait Dennis had the gun. And money!!! hmmm money.. I cant figure it out. I dont know if he actually shot soemone. and wut about the cops? anybody got some ideas email me. lol. me@funndamentals.com
